Popping bottles in the ice, like a lizard. When we drink we do it right, with a lizard.
“GIVE IT SEVEN YEARS AND HE’LL BE GIVING YOU JUST THAT.”
I tried to scroll past this. I really did.
On Wednesdays we wear pink.
This is an interesting thought, actually.
tell me you didn’t want a transparent dancing Carleton on your dash.
"this morning i went for a run and while i was running i thought about…"
It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips
maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife
la la pretty guardian sailor moooooon
This girl is her high school football teams quarterback. The cheerleader is her girlfriend
I love every second of this